HOWEVER, I have found that Oz is a very dangerous place indeed and have compiled this list to inform you of the REAL dangers of Australia:
1). Now I have even more reason to hate pigeons. These blasted birds are a menace to society and actually do lurk around every corner, just waiting for you to walk by so they can poop on you. I've had to dodge several attempts on my life on the way to university. Pigeons are not a laughing matter folks. Danger.
2). Who would have thought that the lovable, huggable kangaroo would lose it and go around punching people in the face? Don't let their adorableness fool you. This photographer will now think twice before approaching these vicious Australian icons.
3). Many are familiar with personable kiwi that is New Zealand's icon, however, many tend to forget it's more formidable cousin the cassowary. Same family as ostriches, emus, and kiwis, the cassowary is typically not a common creature you might interact with here in Australia. They live in the rainforests away from humans and generally keep to themselves. Yet, Cairns, or the town where the Great Barrier Reef is located, is right smack in the middle of the rainforest zone. I'm going there for our mid semester break and going on a hike to Mt. Sorrow right through the natural habitat of the cassowary. The name of the mountain should have tipped me off.
4). Alright, now you're probably thinking, Tierney, get serious. The likelihood of these things happening is slim to none. You're being melodramatic. To this I point out magpies. Magpies belong to the crow family, and at first glance, look like very cool birds. They can generally be found around the various city parks or just hanging outside my window squawking at 6am on a Saturday morning. Nice right? WRONG. At the end of winter and early spring in Melbourne (looks at calendar...), these birds begin mating. And as your parents have informed you, mating brings the babies. The babies bring crazed mothers. Crazed mothers will chase you down and peck your eyes out. No joke. About this time of year, Australians can be found cautiously looking around, waiting for these aerial demons to swoop down from their nests and attack you. Cyclists can also be found wearing helmets with eyes painted on top so as to assure the safety of the real things. This poor girl never knew what was coming:
5). Boxed wine or fondly known as "Goon". Here in Australia, there is a good possibility that international students could experience death by goon. The best part is that I googled "Coolabah" to find our typical drink of choice, and found that this gem of a picture was on an American student's blog! Typical. Even stranger is that he was in the same program as another Wofford student in a completely different part of Australia. Small world.
6). And finally (mostly because I'm lazy), the tram. Melbourne's primary public transportation service. These don't move particularly fast or even have a pleasant little bell to warn you that it's headed straight for you. Most Melbournians don't experience trouble with trams. However, I have the circle of death to contend with in order to make it to my classes at the University. The circle is a large roundabout where cars, buses, insane cyclists and trams converge and spit out in several directions leading to various destinations in the city. Crossing at peak hour I take my life into my own hands and brave the circle, all in the name of learning. A valued education right there.
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